For the life of me I can't remember where I first heard this, but I just want to get it out there that I recognize that the thoughts for this particular entry didn't come directly from me. It was from a short online comedy routine I saw on a blog somewhere and was amused by. I saw the video some time ago and didn't even think about it again until today. I was watching wedding shows on TV with my mom... probably totally not a "feminist" thing, but I'm over it... and it got me thinking...
What is it with weddings? I get that they're important because our culture has made them important and, yes, even I see them as such. There's so much that just goes into this one day that it almost makes my head spin to think about it and yet, if you watch these shows, you realize that at least 99 times out of 100, it's all on the brides. They're the ones who are fretting over every last detail and crying over every slight bump in the road. The grooms merely stand along the sidelines and chuckle to themselves. "Women are crazy" is what I imagine they're thinking. Heck, while watching these shows I believe even I've thought that more than a handful of times. Seeing these poor ladies running around, losing their cool, and being treated like escaped asylum patients is insane, but their reactions to all of these stressors can be downright ridiculous at times. Is that "victim blaming?" I don't mean to make light of such a topic... victim blaming is a horrible thing... but I mean, I can't think of another way to phrase it. Most of these women are being burdened under centuries of tradition which tell them that this ONE day is all that matters. It is the most important day of their entire lives and if it goes wrong, so help them God, they might as well call it a life. There is no way they will ever get over it. No wonder they're half crazed before the real planning even gets under way! If I thought that my entire life rested on making this one single day absolutely perfect, there's no way I would be able to rest either!
It really hit me how important things like that are, though, when my mom repeatedly turned to me while we were watching these brides and their wedding planners make decisions and asked me if I was getting ideas. A few times I thought she was joking, but then I realized she was serious. At the present time I am not planning a wedding, engaged, or seeing anyone at all. I can't imagine that a wedding is in my immediate future. I know my mom was probably just trying to start conversation, and it's not like I'm sitting here enraged at her in any way. It's not like what she was saying was offensive, but still... there is no wedding anywhere near for me. I am not the kind of person who could plan this far ahead for such a thing. What I like today would be my least favorite thing in the entire world tomorrow. Yet already I'm expected to start thinking about what I want my wedding to look like? Finals are coming up! How am I supposed to see past tomorrow, let alone that far into the future? It just feels like so much pressure is put on girls starting as far back as I can remember. Heck, I'm sure in high school my mom asked me about my wedding and if I had any ideas in mind. I grant that I know people who got married immediately after graduating high school, but I certainly had no intentions of doing that, so why would I need to know what kind of cake I wanted? I just wanted to get my diploma and get out of town! You already want me to be able to tell you what the colors are and whether or not I want my initials in red or robin's egg blue on the edge of a napkin? Jeez...
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Post-Election Thoughts (Part I)
I know it's clearly past the election and the dust has more or less settled, but in the course of the past far too many months... heck, probably even years since it's felt like people have been campaigning for an eternity... I have been thoroughly annoyed with so many different aspects of politics. That's as a woman, as a person with interests in politics, and in many different ways. The way in which different parts of the election were covered and the questions directed at me regarding it were just kind of ridiculous... and I almost don't even know where to begin.
Okay, I think I'll start with the point that is perhaps the most annoying for me. I think I should put a disclaimer before this though: I know the issue of abortion is an important one. I recognize why it is important and I very much agree that it is important. All of that said, I'm tired of that being the only question I get asked about as it relates to politics. I don't know if people assume that because I have ovaries and a vagina and all of that good stuff that it's the only issue I'm allowed to care about or what. Even when I've tried to steer the conversation toward something more general, somehow it always comes back to "yeah, but this candidate doesn't support abortion" or "yeah, but this candidate does support abortion." Guess what? I probably already knew that. It doesn't take too much work to research a candidate's platform on various issues. Even then, why should I limit my discussions to merely one issue? I was offended many times by people reducing my opinion to simply that question. I don't vote with my vagina. I vote with my head and really think through my decisions. Yes, abortion is an issue that we all need to discuss and worry about, but it's not the only issue. With people losing their homes and jobs, there are other things at stake.
Another "voting with my vagina" moment seems to come with ignorant people assuming that a woman would vote for Sarah Palin just because she's a woman. It's the same thing as when people were complaining about people voting for Hillary Clinton. Why can't people distinguish the difference between someone saying that they're excited to see women involved in this level of politics and actually saying they're going to vote for them? I would never vote for someone just because they were the same gender as I am, but at the same time I feel completely justified in saying that I think it's amazing and I am so proud that women have finally come so far that they're being put in this spotlight. True, women have run for President and Vice President before, but not with this kind of spotlight. Not with this kind of pressure on them. Women are finally being recognized for the amazing people they are, and to diminish that merely because people can't handle it is ridiculous. Why is it that the only reason I would vote for these women is because they're women? They have platforms. They have beliefs and hopes and desires. They want to help make America better in their own ways, so why are people simplifying them down to their anatomy? I would never think to suggest someone is supporting a candidate and ignoring these women merely because the only candidates are men... why is it okay to question me in this way?
Okay, I think I'll start with the point that is perhaps the most annoying for me. I think I should put a disclaimer before this though: I know the issue of abortion is an important one. I recognize why it is important and I very much agree that it is important. All of that said, I'm tired of that being the only question I get asked about as it relates to politics. I don't know if people assume that because I have ovaries and a vagina and all of that good stuff that it's the only issue I'm allowed to care about or what. Even when I've tried to steer the conversation toward something more general, somehow it always comes back to "yeah, but this candidate doesn't support abortion" or "yeah, but this candidate does support abortion." Guess what? I probably already knew that. It doesn't take too much work to research a candidate's platform on various issues. Even then, why should I limit my discussions to merely one issue? I was offended many times by people reducing my opinion to simply that question. I don't vote with my vagina. I vote with my head and really think through my decisions. Yes, abortion is an issue that we all need to discuss and worry about, but it's not the only issue. With people losing their homes and jobs, there are other things at stake.
Another "voting with my vagina" moment seems to come with ignorant people assuming that a woman would vote for Sarah Palin just because she's a woman. It's the same thing as when people were complaining about people voting for Hillary Clinton. Why can't people distinguish the difference between someone saying that they're excited to see women involved in this level of politics and actually saying they're going to vote for them? I would never vote for someone just because they were the same gender as I am, but at the same time I feel completely justified in saying that I think it's amazing and I am so proud that women have finally come so far that they're being put in this spotlight. True, women have run for President and Vice President before, but not with this kind of spotlight. Not with this kind of pressure on them. Women are finally being recognized for the amazing people they are, and to diminish that merely because people can't handle it is ridiculous. Why is it that the only reason I would vote for these women is because they're women? They have platforms. They have beliefs and hopes and desires. They want to help make America better in their own ways, so why are people simplifying them down to their anatomy? I would never think to suggest someone is supporting a candidate and ignoring these women merely because the only candidates are men... why is it okay to question me in this way?
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